Sunday, July 19, 2009

Giving Your Wife the Gift of Free Time

Understanding what women want and need is something we men will never be able to fully accomplish. We certainly can try though. Now, do not let the title of this post fool you. I am not focusing on just wives, but rather on all women, be they girlfriends, fiancées, or significant others. All of the special women in your life deserve to be spoiled, and deserve free time to themselves. Sometimes, we as men forget this, but I am about to remedy that.

Why is this important?

Well, for starters, I think I speak for every man when I say his special someone is the most cherished person in his life. But far too often, we get caught up in our own agendas, whether it be work related, child related, or whichever event seems to overburden us at the time. Wives work very hard, and whether it's at home or in the office, it's almost guaranteed they are giving 150%. Men tend to overlook this when they are so focused on how life events affect themselves as opposed to the one they love.

What husbands need to realize, is that women need breaks. They need complete separation from their daily routines in order to refresh and revitalize. And they need to trust that their men can handle any situation while they are away.

It is also very important to realize that when a man gives a woman free time by his own actions or suggestion, it affects her in ways more meaningful than most men realize. Because a wife and her relationship with her husband is highly emotion based, an act of kindness in this regard strengthens her loyalty, trust, love, and respect in him.

10 suggestions on how to spoil your wife

1. Cook her dinner and pour her a bath

I'm actually going to take this one a step further and divide it into two categories. Working wife and stay-at-home wife. Plus, I'm going to make simple dinner a bit more elaborate.

  • For the working wife, make dinner as she is on her way home and have her call you 10 minutes before she arrives. When she calls, start her a hot bubble bath (and use candle light if available). Have dinner ready by the time she arrives, or soon after. Serve her dinner in a relaxing bubble bath, and YOU feed the kids and keep them completely away from mommy so she can wind down her day in a calm, soothing fashion.
  • For the stay-at-home wife, tell her she is not to make dinner and you will do it. Follow the same steps as above with a bubble bath, candles, and dinner. Take care of the kids, and let her have an hour of relaxation. She'll appreciate it more than you know.

2. Take the kids out for a couple hours

Whatever day you both have off, tell your sweetheart you are going to take the kids out for a couple hours so she can have a couple hours to herself. Go to the movies, run some errands, go to a sports game...whatever gets the kids out of the house.

3. Girl's night out

If your wife has a girl's night out, do nothing but encourage her to go out, no matter how hard your night will be. Let her know you are totally okay and make sure she knows you want her to enjoy herself. Ask if there is anything you can do for her while she is out so she will not have to worry about it when she gets home.

4. Surprise her with a spa package

Find out which spa your wife really enjoys, or pick one out you think will be relaxing for her. Go to the spa you pick and buy her a spa package on, which can include many things from simple massages to mud baths, etc. Make sure it's on a day she has off and no other plans. Surprise her with the gift and some flowers.

5. Take on all household chores for the day

On a day you are both off, insist on doing all housework for the day so she can have a break from the rigors of cleaning. For Housework 101, check out my article Men and Household Chores. Come on guys, one or two days a month of housework is nothing.

6. Take her shopping

This means minus the kids, so maybe a day with grandma and grandpa, or with the babysitter. Take her wherever she wants to go. Not a peep of complaining and make sure to really focus on her. The more she feels like the day is about her, the happier she will be.

7. Take her to a movie

This also means sans kids. Take her to a movie of her choice, and yes even if it is a chick flick. Spoiling your wife and giving her alone time does not mean she has to be completely alone. Sometimes just spending the day with you, minus all other distractions, is the best gift she could receive.

8. Take over childcare so she can workout

If your wife is someone who works out and has a passion for fitness, take charge of the little ones so she can do what she needs to do. Maybe it's going to the gym, or a yoga class, but whichever it is, encourage her to go. If you yourself exercise, you know how good you feel after a good workout. Let her enjoy the same without any distractions.

9. Let her sleep in

Get up early one morning, and let her know she can sleep in to however late she wants. Take care of all responsibilities for the early day so that she can get in those wonderful few extra hours of sleep. Making her breakfast in bed is an added bonus.

10. Date night

Just the two of you. Wine and dine her and take her out for a refreshing night. Let her enjoy your company as she focuses on you and her and nothing else. Don't forget to open her doors, pull out her chairs, and help her with her coats. Yes, it is old fashioned, but it's respectful, and all women deserve to be treated like ladies.

The biggest secret to spoiling your wife with alone time!

The absolute, most important part to doing any of these things for your wife is to do it with a positive attitude. That means NO complaining, NO whining, NO signs of disgruntlement. She will not enjoy what you are doing for her if she feels like you do not want to do it in the first place. Make her feel special, and make her feel like everything is about her.

Guys, our women deserve this. They put up with so much when it comes to the stuff we pull sometimes. Let us do this for them. We owe everything to our wives, and so much more. Love them, cherish them, and let them have their special time to themselves. It will strengthen your relationship, and you will be a better man for it.

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